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Noting a Spiritual Attack | darkmist's Blog


I feel like making a note of what's happened this week, and perhaps I may find it helpful in the future. Since moving back into my childhood home for a while a dark energy... probably a demon (I know, Iknow), has re-kindled our connection. While discussing it with my husband this week I've recalled some details that I don't want to loose track of for later reference. I don't think it's been with me since before birth but rather since about the age of 3 1/2. I'd been taken to visit the job site of our new home. While standing in the unwalled upstairs I had a moment of nearly tottering over the edge. I had been looking down when the ground opened up into a toothy pit like a half animal half water well. It was after that I began to play with a boy that no one else could see... sometimes he was a boy others a man shape, others still a boar-like beast. It was explained to me that I had an invisible friend that my mind created because I didn't have other small children to play with and numerous other reasons that made good sense so I trusted them. Well, it's my blog so I don't have to proove to readers that it's real or why I believe it is anyway.

So 3 days ago my energy was feeling low. Our living area has recently become MUCH safer from neighbors domestic violence so I'd removed my "wards", symbols and signs of protection. My husband pointed out that things amped-up after I took them down. So my energy field was feeling drained Friday... I'd actually stated to my husband that I didn't feel like I was fully inside myself and described feeling "something" on my back. My tummy was filled with a burning sensation that always portends a warning. Hmm, said we and shrugged it off, not knowing what else to do but go on with the day.

I got into the shower to cleanse negative energy oogies, but halfway through my thoughts started turning dark and sad. Though I'm not Christian I'll sometimes say a Hail Mary because it's part of my heritage and I believe in the power of the millions of people who pray... it's comforting and taps into a place of sacred energy inside me or in my thought processes. However this one didn't bring comfort. In the middle of a very hot shower the room grew quite cold! My body began to goosebump and shiver. I slid the shower door open to discover that it was warmer feeling outside where I should have been hit with a blast of colder air. My dog, who usually lays on the floor next to the tub was sitting out in the hall looking into the bathroom. He barked aggressively twice then walked into the bedroom, looking back mistrustingly. I doubled up the heart I was pouring into saying that Hail Mary, cast a protection pentagram around my self, and then said aloud for any negative energy or influences to leave me, you are not permitted to affect me, as the body is cleansed so is the spirit and soul. When I got out I felt better.

Off and on through the night I'd feel almost as if I were slipping out of myself a few times. This is not something that I experience, but I'm healing from a virus, I hadn't slept or eaten right in days because of prepping for holiday company, so I decided to put the tv on and take it easy puttering around. I tried several times to burn some white sage but it wouldn't stay lit. I wasn't paying much attention to the re-runs playing but it was a series of paranormal programs, and in discussion of the Bobby Mackie's location. I put it out of my mind but forgot to change the station before my husband came home from work so he caught part of the re-replay. I have a slight history with that location and never liked even driving past the exit on the highway. My husband and I talked a little about the place but moved on to late night Yule decorating. We were having a great time.

 When it came time for bed I wasn't quite sleepy yet so I set down to have a glass of wine and craft a little holiday decoration. I recall having gotten frustrated because the craft ribbon kept like jumping out of my hand as if someone were smacking it. I did get the project done but the next day (and even now) my fingers and hands are covered in bruises where I grabbed the thing so tightly trying to keep hold. I got up to make a cigareette -- we roll our own. The roller kept getting knocked out of my hand. Though it clearly felt like something else was doing it I didn't want to think so because I'd had all of those shows on all night and I felt that my instincts could have been influenced... especially at such a late hour. I got more than frustrated, verging towards angry. I recall asking myself  WTH am I feeling like this for? pa-shaw, I was having a good time! I looked down at the table and then I looked at the clock... 20 minutes had gone by! Where did it go? Was I staring at the table top with no recollection of thought for that long!?  I had no description for how I felt and that did make me angry or scared is more like it. Did I have a brain seizure? I shouted a little "I just want a fucking smoke!".  I don't remember much after that.

My yell woke my husband who said he came downstairs to find tobacco flakes and cigareete tubes all over the place (expensive wastes btw, totally out of character for me!). I shouted some things, shoved some furniture. I stumbled like I didn't know how to use my own body one moment and then leapt around like a yoga instructor on speed the next. He's not talking much about what I said right then... I have the feeling it was something petty, mean, and hurtful. Sure we give each other PLENTY of good reason to get hot at one another but we always work things out rather than go on the attack. HE says that it wasn't me talking and my heart fills with loving joy to know that he doesn't just think I'm a MEAN crazy person. Anyway, so I recall the cold of the basement floor under me suddenly and hearing him say no please don't go into the basement (he doesn't like it down there). I can't even imagine how I got to where I must have been sitting because there are items stored in the way I'd have had to've manuvered around like metal lawn furniture. There was a sound like rushing wind in my ears, not the beating of a high blood pressure under duress but a constant roar like trying to talk to someone while riding a mororcycle. I know that I was saying things and I wanted to stop but couldn't. I felt a sharp jolt when my husband came to me and bent down to take my shoulders. I made a roaring sound and felt like I was "IN" me for a moment so I grabbed mentally for the Rosary. My husband said that I bgan to chant the Rosary prayers (even the parts I don't remember the words to)  faster and faster then began to say it in Latin, then something that sounded like old High German to him. As a child I did attend the Catholic Mass in Latin, but most all High German I know is political paperwork sort of words and phrases. I think my ancestors were praying for/through me! I don't know if it really happened or not because my husband hasn't said anything about it yet but I think my new cat had jumped into my lap like screaming for me and I cuddled her while I prayed. She's shown a strong sensitivity to spiritual energy in the past and I have recently begun to actively work with her in meditation Circle. Then the next thing I recall is being on the basement stairs. I don't remember moving or my husband moving across the room or what was said. He was a step or two above me and I think I was sitting while he was bent down. He's told me that my voice was totally different like an impossibly deep growl. I think he asked honey what happened, what's the matter. Then I roared like a beast from the deepest pits of hell. Something about I'm hungry... I need to be able to FEEEEEEEDDDD! He told me today that when I did that I'd turned my head to him and my eyes were glowing red and I didn't look human. He shot back with the shit about scared out of him. He said that no matter how much he loves me if he'd have had a place to go he would have left that morning (by then it was like 6 AM!). He thought I was going to come after him! He went up to the bed and said he really was scared when I came up to use the bathroom that I was going to get into bed with him! But I guess I did what I had to do and then calmly went to the sofa. That afternoon he woke me before leaving for work and I shot awake like nothing happened, but I was still not feeling right. I spent the whole evening trying to figure out what happened. Not to be gross but my bowel movement for that day had the smell of grapes -- it takes a lot of alcohol to make poopie smell like the booze. I've done that once... once is enough for a smart person to learn not to drink that much again. So when did I get drunk this time? I remember pouring ONE glass of wine -- 1 normal sized wine glass does NOT make a person so drunk they black out. I've NEVER had a blackout from drugs or drinking because I know my own body limits. Never had a wild teenage night where I woke up someplace else the next morning ect. Never have I been able to drink that much if I wanted too but yet here I am with too much wine in my system and my household traumatised!

Now my husband is having to deal with suddenly believing in things he didn't before... seeing things he's never seen. Maybe we are crazy but seeing is believing. I'm thankful that he still believes in ME!  We know we can't just not talk about thee kind of things anymore washing them off with known science. Apherhently he was frequently being pulled out of bed when I sleep on the sofa (feels better on my bones sometimes), things have risen up to fly into his head, scratches that get blamed on the cat, voices and shadows around the bed at night. He thinks that I have a demon or nasty spirit that attacks him but I don't psychically recognise it because I've grown up with it. It sure doesn't seem to like our love and happiness! But those are things that we always want more of so it's not going to be a very pleased nasty spirit demon thing then because we are NOT going to stop. :)

I'm trying not to let if get to me so that my personal confidence isn't smooshed down, but it's very hard not to feel ashamed and beyond embarrased at what happened. I feel like an abusive alcoholic or wife beater kind of person -- this traumatised my entire household! In addition to just being shocked and scared at not knowing what I was doing there is the fact that tiny little me made the huge man who is the heart of all my lifetimes scared of me. :( I never what him to feel like he doesn't want me to touch him again!

All I know that I can do right now is to treat my body and spirit the best that I can... and in truth if I do have some sort of brain tumor or mental illness beyond stresses then sleeping and eating right can only help that too rather than harm. AND get rid of the Ouija board somehow. I never use it but it was in that childhood home for years in the exact location I'd felt most spiritually uncomfortable. I feel like I'm being told to get rid of it but I can't decide how. It's an old collectible in great shape WITH original box -- it just doesn't have the planchet because that had shot off into the closet once and never came back. I won't burn it but I don't want to sell it or give it to someone without disclosing that it did indeed dwell in a paranormal location. People often give things to me for cleaning of spiritual energy and they feel confident when thier item is returned it is indeed clean. I have closed numerous active spiritual doorways in homes and from objects. I just straight-up don't trust my ability to cleanse this board because on the inside I'd really like to keep it as decor and I've lived with this energy for too long that I might allow myself to be fooled by it -- has to go.

Drop me a note if you have credentials to safely handle a paranormal "haunted" talking board and you may have it. If anyone shows interest in this post topic by commenting or whatever I'll try to post updates. Even though this post was for person recording reasons I do invite your comments... even the ones that would tell me it's crazy or that demons aren't real because God isn't real... they're fun to read. If you happen to come upon a bear with rabies while you're walking in the woods do you think that the bear won't attack you just because you don't believe it's real? The bear knows it's real, if that were the case, and it knows your butt is too! Just because you don't believe in a Christian God doesn't mean that the power of the millions that do believe can't manifest demon energies nor does it discount the possibility that the things we call demons may have been around long before Christianity existed. There is even the possibility that a person who believed in life could die and their spirit could become distorted into believing it is demonic. Darkness is dark. Well, on that note I'm going to go lighten up a bit. :)




























 






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Previous Posts
Noting a Spiritual Attack, posted December 10th, 2012
Staying Married, posted December 7th, 2011
Grinding My Gears, posted December 20th, 2009, 1 comment
Alien Abduction Dream???, posted December 18th, 2009, 3 comments
Holiday Joy for the Anxiety Disordered - FREEDOM!, posted December 4th, 2009
Learn to identify an animal in need and rude vegans, posted November 14th, 2008
My Experience Project, posted June 25th, 2007, 2 comments
Admitting Agoraphobia, posted June 18th, 2007

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